Haruki's way

野菜のオーブン焼にオリーブオイルをたっぷりかけたもの。

先週末、ちょっとした発見があったので徒然なるままに綴ります。実は、この前私たちの友人が、出発当日に荷造りをしてメールを送っていたせいで、バカンスの飛行機（スペイン南東の島行き）に乗り遅れ、何とバレンシアに行き、パパに迎えに来てもらい、そこから車で港まで行き、さらに皆とからフェリーで島に行く・・・という旅をしたのです。悲劇はその後も続き、帰りの飛行機には十分間に合うように行ったものの、行きの飛行機に乗っていなかったので自動的にキャンセルされて乗れなかったとか。。。というわけで、非常な出費だったわけです。

この前友人同士で集まった時にその話が再度浮上し、彼女に向かって皆「本当に笑えるよねー。」「服の準備程度でなんで数時間もかかるのー。ゲラゲラ」といった感じだったのです。彼女は一生懸命自分を弁護していたけれど、周りの１０人くらいが「それにしても間抜けだー！」とさらに笑いのネタに。。。私は聞きながら、「うーむ、確かに間抜けだけど、ここまで何度もネタにするのは・・・。」とためらいがち。

後で別の友達と話した時に、「あれはマズかったのでは？彼女、半分泣きそうじゃなかった？」って聞いたら、「いいんだよ、友達同士だし。冗談だって分かるトーンでやってるんだから。ああいうのはネタにするなと言われると余計ネタになるものだし。ほら、強い鶏が集団で弱い鶏をつっつくようなものさ、ハハハ。」と。

恐るべし、スペイン人。。。ちょっと心が痛みます。。。

日本では、「本人十分失敗を自覚してるんだから、ネタにするのはちょっと可愛そう。」となるところが、スペインでは「友達同士、信頼関係があるんだから、ネタにするものはして笑おう！」と。ふーむ。

それで、ひとつ思い出したことがあります。彼が日本にインターンに来て、新しい会社に入って間もない頃、彼の会社の同僚が歓迎会を企画してくれたことがありました。ところが、二次会で「美味しいから行こう。」と連れていかれたオイスターバーがものすごく高く、結局招待された彼まで１万円支払うことに。さらに、帰りの電車では彼以外皆酔っぱらっていて、彼が駅で乗り換えようとしたら、「そこは違うからもうちょっと乗って行け。」と言われたのが運のつき、実はその人達が間違えていて、結局タクシーで帰る羽目になり、彼はまた１万円近く払わされたという苦い経験がありました。次の日、何ともスペイン人らしく、彼は会社で皆がいる所でそれをネタにしてしまったのです。。。「○○さんと一緒にオイスターバーに行ったらものすごく高くて、歓迎会じゃなくなって、さらに電車も僕以外みんな間違えて、結局タクシーだよ。ハハハ。」と。。。皆さん、その後はご想像がつくでしょう。その上司、どうやらぶち切れたらしく、その後１年間彼に話しかけることは一切なくなりました。

当時、「何か嫌われちゃったよー！」と言われ、「あちゃー、日本では本人十分自覚しているということで、あまり追求しないんだよ。追求した方が逆に子供じみて見える事もあるしね。」と説明しましたが、彼の両親はその話を聞いて、「なんと心が狭い。そう言う所ですぐマジメになりすぎるなんて、人生どうやって楽しめるんだ、日本人は。」という反応でした。両方のやり方＆言い分が分かる私としては、何とも複雑な心境。

日々色々な文化の違いは感じるものの、これは「当たり前」の前提があまりに違い過ぎて、ともすると「ベースの違い」をすっ飛ばして「非常識」になりかねないケースだと思います。やっぱり異国では議論することは大事だな、と実感しました。

写真は久々にスペイン料理。これはグリル野菜をニンニク、塩、コショウで調味してマヨネーズをつけるだけのシンプルなもの。私の大好物です。奥の一品はクロケッタ(croqueta)と呼ばれ、所謂コロッケですが、日本のコロッケとはずいぶん違っていて、中はベシャメルソースという小麦粉とオリーブオイル、バターに刻みハムが入ったもの。これも絶品ですが、意外とボリュームがあるので注文し過ぎに気をつけてます(^^)

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Each day I see differences between Japan and Spain. Some are trivious, some are so fundamental that I don’t know how to compare. Among them, there’s a VERY big one that I found quite interesting. Here it is… 🙂

Last weekend our friends organized a party at their house and prepared a wonderful dinner for us. We enjoyed tasting wine, trying Galician food and talking a lot. Then they started talking about one “fiasco” of our friend, who, because of packing and sending email, arrived at the airport shortly before the departure time and as a result miss the plane.

The tragedy continued. It was for her vacation and she was with her roommate that was supposed to go to the island together. She decided to go to Valencia, where her dad picked them up and gave them a ride to the ferry port, where they took a ferry and finally reached the island.

Another tragedy. On the way back, they arrived at the airport much in advance, but found out that their seats had already been taken, as they had lost the “right to take the plane”. So… they took a ferry again to the peninsula, took a car from Valencia and came back to Madrid. Of course, it cost them a lot more than what it would have been.

People started joking about it, saying “How could you possibly do that?” “You missed the plane only for sending email? Gosh!” etc. etc. She was defending herself, but in front of 7-8 people laughing at her, it was not really effective. Personally, I was a bit worried, because she’s the one that had to pay for all she did, and to me that was enough. Why do we need to laugh at her again and again? She would end up feeling angry or sad.But here I was wrong!

I talked to one Spanish boy. He said, “Look, in Spain we joke about people’s mistakes and laugh at them again and again, because among “amigos” there’s confidence”. Hmmm…. He also said, “It’s like lots of chickens attacking a weak one. But who knows? Next time it might be you.” I see… here you have to be strong to protect yourself and have to have thise sense of humor…!

It reminded me of one thing my Spanish boyfriend experienced in Japan. When he started working in a Japanese comopany, they organized a welcome party for him. For the second run, they took him to an oyster bar, where things were soooo expensive that eventually even he had to pay. Not a bit but 10.000 yen (80-90 USD). He got a bit sulky. Then they took a train. His colleagues were completely drunk, and when he was about to get off the train to take another one, one guy said, “No, you have to stay in this train and change at XXX Station.” He stayed, and actually, the guy was wrong and my boyfriend was right. In the end, they had to take a taxi and it costed him some 30-40 bucks.

Of course, the first thing he did the next morning at the office was to make fun of his colleagues talking about the oyster bar and the train… And that guy never spoke to my boyfriend himself during the internship.

When my boyfriend told me about this in Japan, I only said, “It’s because he had already felt bad about the party and all. In Japan, you don’t really accuse someone when he’s already regretful. Besides, if you accuse openly, even if you are joking, people may think you are a bit childish.” but didn’t know that was something Spanish.

It was a good lesson to me. This act of Spanish people, without giving any explanation, would look vulgar, violent and childish to most Japanese people, while the Japanese people
‘s reaction may be interpreted as their inflexibility and their lack of sense of humor.

No, Spanish people can be really direct, but it’s because they think in relations of confidence, they can be frank and say things clearly even when they are harsh.

And Japanese people do not laugh at those mistakes, because we think everyone makes mistakes and the person who did it is the most embarrased, and that therefore, there’s no need to laugh at it any more, which actually comes from our consideration.

One important thing is that without this explanation, one might misunderstand the other so easily, because it is so difficult to imagine that the base of the action is also completely different.